Thursday, 26 May 2011

Patience... It's a virtue.

Whenever my impatient boyfriend is being particularly impatient, I like to remind him that patience is indeed a virtue and one that he might like to work on a bit. Generally, this does not receive a response that is what you would call open to the suggestion. But it doesn't tend to lead to an argument either as he knows me well enough to know that it is a virtue I wish I had.

I am not, shall we say, overly blessed with patience.

And judging by the people I know who are also in their twenties, and some in their thirties, I suspect it may be a generational issue.

There was Generation X, followed by Generation Y, there has also been the MTV generation which I'll come back to but now we have what I call the iGeneration. A play on the prevalence of apple's branding style whilst also highlighting the self-centred aspect of young citizens.

Perhaps I am being a little harsh on my generation. After all, I gained my current job through volunteering, as did my teenage coworker. I care about other people and global issues; so if I do, surely there are others who do too?

So, the MTV generation (as I understand the theory anway) are so called because having watched MTV videos, people became used to flashing lights and absorbing information that was up on the screen in shorter and shorter times. Add in video games and subliminal messaging through embedding split-seconds of images within movies or adverts so that we aren't even aware we've seen the image but somehow our brains register it; our brains are working faster than we ever imagined.

We live in a society that has grown up with this, with broadband internet and fastfood restaurants. We have power tools to take the work out of DIY and cars to speed from home to work, from meeting to meeting, from work to home without losing time on travelling. We can pay someone to fix those cars or clean our houses or tend our gardens, or maybe just once in a while deliver our dinner to our doors.

We try to fit so many things into our modern lives; we can have it all, career, family, friends, hobbies, studying, holidays. And there's no reason at all why we shouldn't do it all, there are endless possibilities for us to make the most of. So where's the problem? In a world where everything is built for convenience and speed, time has become a luxury.

Time, for me at least, is the reason I can't do all the things I want to do, read all the books I want to read or do all the hobbies I want to; the reason I can't work on all the skills I want to improve or learn.

So is it any wonder that young people seem to be more and more impatient the younger they get? Sure, it takes time to learn to be patient; it's a skill children often have difficulty mastering, but I'm not so sure that we really try to learn patience anymore.

Before I even turned 18, I had several banks sending me offers for credit cards and loans. The attitude of 'buy it now, pay later' is incredibly prevalent in our society and with relaxing morals surrounding borrowing because let's face it, there are things normal (read: working/middle class) people simply cannot do without borrowing such as going to university or buying a house, there isn't much of a case for why you should wait to buy that pair of shoes/car/computer/expensive outfit.

So, as we become more and more used to everything pandering to our convenience, pausing live TV, websites making things available 24 hours a day, getting things when we want them whether we can afford them or not; how can we expect this not to have a knock-on effect on the rest of our lives?

For me, this is a particular problem as I am in a long-distance relationship. After five years together, the last two of which we have lived in different towns, I am getting rather impatient. I don't want to have to wait to see him, I don't want to have to save all the tiny things that I want to tell him until both of us have dealt with the day-to-day bits of our lives and can actually talk to each other.

Half the time we do speak, we don't have a proper conversation, just a flying 'hello, how are you doing, what have you been up to, love you' as we rush from errand to chore or work to home. We have to make the time to have a real chat and bond; which is, I imagine how it works for everyone around the world in any relationship.

But I know for a fact it is much easier to have discussions about touchy subjects or to find five minutes here for a chat, half an hour there to chill out on the sofa together, to just be together, when living near each other. When you love someone you just want to be with them and conducting a long-distance relationship flies directly in the face of this. Does the fact that we have maintained our relationship mean that I have learned patience? Or does it mean that we care about each other and have therefore put in the work to make time and be understanding of each other? I don't think I'm more patient, just that I've accepted that you can't always have everything in life, let alone when you want it. Which, of course, I always knew; I just have yet more experience of living with it.

So when my boyfriend is being impatient, I shall continue to remind him that patience is a virtue. And I'll remind myself every now and again too...

No comments:

Post a Comment